Monday, 11 January 2010

How to:Getting drinking water

So, this is the scenario.

You wake up to find your trapped in the jungle somehow and all around you there is lots of foliage! You become very thirsty but only happen to have a plastic bag and an elastic band. Now I know what your thinking, bag over the head...elastic band = goodbye cruel world?

NO! Stop thinking that and start worrying about how the hell you woke up to find yourself in the jungle. Then follow this guide to get water to drink.

You will need

Plastic bag

Elastic band




Balaclava (Because in the jungle you don't want any Bonobos seeing you)

Step 1

Seeing as you may have awoken in a jungle you should probably think back and wonder if you've ingested any psychoactive substances recently. If you have count yourself lucky that it's not really happening! And don't take drugs again.

Step 2

Look for a nice leafy part of your chosen tree and put the bag over it.


Step 3

Secure the bag at the bottom with the elastic band!


At this point you should straighten out the bag a little bit so it has an end in which water can collect.

Step 4

Softly softly catchee monkey. You'll have to wait a while depending on how hot it is where you are, the hotter it is the more the plants going to aerobically respirate and give you your beloved water vapour.

Step 5

Drink it!

This took a few hours to collect, if I'd left it for half a day or so quite a lot would of been collected, if you had lots of bags you could do this loads and have a tree bag party!

So! Now you know what to do if you ever find yourself in a really really strange situation.

WARNING: Some things described on this site are potentially dangerous/illegal. The writers of this site assume no responsibility for the consequences that may result from attempting the activities described here.

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